Pistachio?

"Is that really her name?"

"What an awful nickname."

"Please tell me that you'll stop calling her that when she's born!"

"Where did that come from?"

Actually, it goes all the way back to when we found out we were expecting Daniel. We were at our dear friends' house (in Russia!) when we got confirmation (after several days of denial and four pregnancy tests) that I was indeed pregnant!

After the shock wore off slightly and the giddiness of what this all meant set in, Nadya grabbed a baby development book to work out my due date and see how big this little creature in my belly already was. We figured out that I was 19 days pregnant.

There was a picture in the book of an 18-day-old, in-utero baby. Patrick said, "Wow, it looks like a peanut!"

And so before he became Daniel, he was known as "Peanut."

We continued to call him Peanut throughout the pregnancy because:

- It took us forever to come up with a name. Actually, it took forever for God to show us what his name was supposed to be and not-surprisingly, both Patrick and I had the name Daniel in our head without ever discussing it.

- We decided not to tell anyone his name until he was born.

So, it's become a Wilson tradition to refer to our unborn children as a nut (or a legume).

Daniel was Peanut.

Caleb was Cashew.

Eli was Walnut.

And now, Pistachio is Pistachio.

We've continued to not share the names we are considering until we introduce our child to the world. It's fun having a secret.

I think we know what Pistachio's real name is supposed to be, but as with all our children, it's not something we've stressed over. We've never opened a baby name book. The only list of baby names we've looked at is the occasional suggestions we get from Patrick's mom. :-)

God knows our unborn child better than we do. He knit them together. He knows the personality they will have. The character issues they will struggle with. The ones that we as parents will have to help mold. What will significantly define our child to the world.

I think the naming of my children is important. Important enough to leave up to Him, the One who created my children in His image. I believe the name He gives us to call them is a small reflection of Himself.

Hopefully, we will introduce Pistachio to the world by her God-given name very, very, very soon...

Patrick and I had the privilege of meeting a baby tonight who was born 10wks early. His mommy, a very good friend of mine, was only 30wks pregnant when her water broke. The nurses and doctors did what they could to stop labor, but little Josiah had decided he was going to be born regardless of what anyone did and so he showed up much earlier than anybody expected. Thankfully, he was born without a stressful birth and is doing as well as he can considering he should still be cooking inside mom.

This is the first time I have seen a baby in the NICU. I'm not sure anything can prepare you for seeing such a tiny person with so many tubes and wires coming out of them.

His parents can't hold him for at least a week as his skin and muscles are extremely sensitive. They could bruise him to the point of hemorrhage because his blood vessels are not strong enough for the pressure of a touch. He is able to get enough oxygen on his own, but he is still hooked up to an apparatus that "reminds" him to breath. He can't swallow so so his nutrients come from an IV. When the breathing apparatus is removed he'll have mom's breast milk through a feeding tube for his first month. His eyes have to be taped shut while he is getting light therapy for his jaundice because his retinas are not developed enough.

So many things that still have to grow, to develop and become complete. So many things that could still go wrong.

Yet, as I looked at him, all I could think was, "fearfully and wonderfully made." How perfectly God had put this child together. God gave him ten fingers, ten toes, a squishy nose and cherub lips. Already, his parents can see Josiah's fighting spirit as he pulls at the air tube and IV wires. His neonatal nurse calls him a "Wild Man" and says she can hear him screaming from down the hall, even when is incubator lid is closed! God knew all along that little Josiah would come into this world earlier than we deemed ready. But this is part of the story of Josiah's life. A story God has already written out. God has given him the best birthday, the best parents, the best beginning in His design.

May we treat each person we encounter, especially those in our own family, as one who God has fearfully and wonderfully made - regardless of the things we see that still need to grow, to develop and become complete. Or the things we see that could still go wrong. Let us always see them as perfectly created by God and the part they play in His story.

Sabbath.

Not a word we hear much in Christianity anymore. I think our lives are so hectic and crazy, we've forgotten that taking a "sabbath" is actually a commandment from God.

"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work... for in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth... but he rested on the seventh day." Ex. 20:8-11

I realize that even though we don't use the word "sabbath" often it's not a new concept to us, but most sermons I've heard about Sabbath focus on our need to take a rest. We talk about the importance of re-creating ourselves so we are prepared to do God's work the following week. As though God couldn't continue His work unless we had that rest... But I was struck with another perspective about Sabbath as I've been reading Louie Giglio's book, i am not but i know I AM.

He points out that Adam and Eve were created on the sixth day of creation and then immediately there was rest...

"Adam and Eve were feeling fine. They weren't stressed-out, overwhelmed, road-weary, overworked, vacation-starved, frazzled, worn down, bleary-eyed, over committed, or spent. Why would they possibly need a rest day this early in the game?

But maybe it was God who needed a break. After all, He was the one who had done all the creative work. Maybe He was the one who needed a rest. Right?

Wrong.

God wasn't the slightest bit tired on Day Seven. Making the world wasn't too much for him. In fact, God simply spoke and the world came into being. God felt the same on Day Seven as he had before He invented time and space."

It wasn't because Adam and Eve needed a rest. And it certainly wasn't because He needed a rest. God commanded Sabbath in order to teach us something about Himself... He wanted Adam and Eve to acknowledge and forever remember on each forthcoming Sabbath all the things He created, He put into place and motion, He kept in control, before they even showed up! He wanted Adam and Eve, and us, to know that He had already done it all long before we were there to offer our advice and suggestions or get our hands in it and meddle around.

Because it's so easy for us to think that we're the ones keeping it all together, right? The inability to take a Sabbath rest is really telling God that He is not doing a good enough job. He won't be able to take care of things if you let it go. That we are better than Him at handling things. We put ourselves under the weight of doing it all.

"The weight of trying to make yourself bigger than you are -- of trying to figure out how to run your life on your own, of always trying to determine the outcome, control the relationship, close the deal, run the show, hold it all together, know the future, protect your interests, build your kingdom -- the weight of playing the role of God in your life and the lives of those around you."

(For me, it's constantly wondering if I'm raising my children right or am I doing something that will turn them completely away from God in their adult years.)

"But be encouraged. Today is Sabbath. It may not literally be Sunday, but Sabbath is a state of mind and attitude of the heart. Sabbath happens anywhere and everywhere we let go of the controls and lay the cares of our lives at His feet.

So, where is your future right now? Where is the outcome of your pressing dilemma? Is it in the hands of the businessman on the other side of the conference table? Is it in the hands of the boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse? In the hands of a team of doctors?

Or, is your life, and all that concerns you, in the hands of the God who constructed the universe effortlessly in one week?

If you want more rest and less 'stressed' declare this very moment to be your Sabbath -- the place where you pry your fingers off of the circumstances and people you are trying so desperately to control, the place you discover that life really does work better in His hands instead of yours..."

Happy Sabbath day, everyone!

*all quotations are from Louie Giglio's book i am not but i know I AM unless otherwise stated

Oh, that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is placed in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse in to the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into its soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,--she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no other's hands the sacred and holy trust given to her." -JR Miller

Looking for some feedback here...

I am a very blessed woman. One of those blessings is having a mother I can sit down with over a cup of tea and really talk. Almost no topic is off limits. No display of emotion is taken offensively. Everything goes! I got to spend last week with my mom and as always, conversation flowed.

One thing we discussed is how does one stand by their convictions without being judgmental? This is a question I've been asking myself for about a year now, especially as Patrick and I have become more and more passionate about family discipleship and it's meant a lot of lifestyle changes for us. A lot of rethinking the way we do things. I think I am afraid that accepting others' way of doing things "weakens" my conviction.

So, what does it look like to embrace your God-given convictions, without having a swayed by the wind, whatever-is-right-for-you-may-not-be-right-for-me attitude, but still be gracious, accepting and understanding of those who do things differently from you?

I'd really like to hear back from the two of you that read my stuff...